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"We're close to being reliant solely on renewable sources of outrage."
"Now I wish the war had been about the oil."
"It was offensive to people who haven't turned eight."
"I think I have diaper rash...whoever is responsible for this I'll sue when I grow up."
'The weed didn't know you buried your bone there.'
'Don't you realize you're inside a church? Take off your hat!'
'If you are outraged, press one... if you will be using profanity, press two...'
The Right Wing Outrage Meter - It Goes to '11' . . . Always.
'The doctor says I'm hallucinating. The nerve of him! Right, Ralph?'