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"This Just In."
Tags:news, the news, newsreader, newsreaders, news reader, news readers, newscaster, newcasters, this just in, news broadcast, news broadcasts, news broadcasting, reporting, reporter, reporters, new reporter, new reporters, latest news, the latest news, bomb, bombs, bombing, nuclear bomb, nuclear bombing, war, nuclear war, conflict, conficts, tv, television, tv broadcasting, tv broadcasters, tv broadcatser, television brocasting, television broadcaster, television broadcasters, live tv, live television, anchor men, anchor man, anchormen, anchorman, unfortunate, surprise, surprised, shock, shocked
'. . . This breaking news just in: Police are on the lookout for a man who just escaped from the mental hospital. . . they say he's completely psychotic and dangerous, and he may believe he's a T.V. news anchor. . .'
"Good evening, this is Georgi Avelov, your anchorcomrade."
Tags:comrade, comrades, communist, communists, communism, news anchor, news anchors, co-anchor, co-anchors, co-anchoring, broadcast, broadcasts, broadcasting, russia, russian, russians, state tv, state television, state news, news broadcast, news broadcasts, news broadcasting, broadcaster, broadcasters, socialist, socialists, socialism
'Stocks remained steady, due to weak production in the rumor mills today...'
'Stocks dropped on news that the only certainty in life is 'uncertainty'.'
'The market was up today on rumors that the rumors were only rumors...'
Good evening. Tonight's broadcast will be to the point. Everything's horrible. Good night.
Bulletin at Malibu
Tags:surf's up, california, californian, californians, malibu, beach house, beach houses, santa monica, southern california, socal, beach, beaches, beach weather, weather report, weather reports, new bulletin, news bulletins, good weather, surf, surf report, surf reports, laid back, dude, dudes, california dude, california dudes, local news, news broadcast, news broadcasts, meteorologist, meteorologists, meteorology, lifestyle, lifestyles
'We'll be back, after this commercial break, with more reasons why its not safe to leave your house.'
'Someone today leaked information to the media about the governement's new 'no leak' policy.'
'Hang on a minute - I think there's something else down here!'
'Stocks rose on news that Alan Greenspan - before leaving the fedral reserve - would agree to be cloned.'
Business news - 'Interest rates will remain unchanged...but the number of zeroes in $1,000,000 will be reduced from 6 to 5...'
'I'm sorry... We seem to be having a problem with our teleprompter.'
Funny how it's only the people I disagree with who are biased.
'Today civility broke out in a part of the world previously thought uncivilized...'
'Mercury levels were found to be high in canned tuna. Here with the story is...'
Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...
'Stocks decline on news there is more to fear than fear itself.'
'They hired a chimp to read the news! The ratings war must really be heating up.'
'Here are the latest poll results...'hype' leads 'truth' by a 2-1 margin.'
'This just in: the inhabitants of planet Earth are being recalled for the correction of a major defect.'
BREAKING FAKE NEWS
'You know, I'm really tired of reading news stories -- Let's just chat at random for awhile, okay?'
'This just in from the AMA: New studies reveal that life is bad for you.'