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"This is doing me out of a job..."
"In an effort to improve building security, you will no longer be allowed to work inside the building."
Man tries to celebrate New Year while a terror alert goes off.
'No sir, swallowing Jaeger bombs doesn't make you a security threat...'
"Suspected terrorists are popping up all over..."
Map of possible locations of next terrorist attack...
"I'm not paranoid. I'm that other 8-letter word - 'informed.'"
'I expect God's far too busy to protect your cucumbers from terrorists, dear.'
"...But the third little pig heeded government advice and built his house from blast proof concrete."
Government Notice: You should be worrying about something.