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Tags:alien, aliens, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, little green men, little green man, martian, martians, ufo, ufos, alien spaceship, alien spaceships, abductions, abductions, alien abduction, alien abductions, security, security check, security checks, airport security, metal detector, metal detectors, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, unidentified flying object, alien experiment, alien experiments
"Are you carrying currency or monetary instruments of $ 10,000 U.S. or foreign equivelant?"
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, security check, security checks, airport security, security guard, security guards, currency, cash, monetary instrument, monetary instruments, discrimnate, discrimnation, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap
"I'm sorry, but we're going to have to have to act as if we have some kind of security system."
Tags:security, security system, security systems, building security, security desk, security desks, security guard, security guards, pretend, pretending, act, acting, performing, performativity, security screening, playing a role, playing a part, security check, security checks, bag check, bag checks, pointless, jsut for show
'...and did you pack the bag yourself?'
Tags:gate of heaven, pearly gates, pearl gates, st peter, st. peter, heaven, the afterlife, afterlife, life after death, saint peter, angel, angels, policemen, policeman, police men, police man, police officer, police officers, police search, police searches, spot check, spot checks, clean, security check, security checks, border control, border check, border checks, border security
"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."
Tags:airports, airport, air travel, air travelling, traveller, travellers, security, security check, security checks, screener, screeners, security screeners, flirt, flirts, compliment, compliments, complimenting, security scan, scans, scanning, scanner, alert, alerts, alerted, alerting, tease, teases, teasing, alarm, alarmed, alarms
"For your comfort, you will be searched by someone of your own level of sexiness."
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, flying, airport security, screening, screenings, scanner, scanners, metal detector, metal detectors, detector, detectors, officer, officers, safety, protection, security, tsa, t.s.a, transport security administration, department of homeland security, pat down, pat downs, pat-down, pat-downs, physical screening, physical screenings, search, searches, security check, security checks, beauty, attractiveness, level, levels, comfort, comfortable, customer service, service
'Does this mean I don't get my security deposit back?'
"Your mother is very fond of you, but she thought that you and your backpack looked suspicious."
Tags:kid, kids, child, childhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, security, terrorism, security check, security checks, suspicious, suspicious person, suspicious people, backpack, backpacks, bag check, bag checks, bag checking, untrustworthy, trustworthiness, security check, security checks, mother, mothers
"I'm running for class president. They're going to run a background check on you."
Going through the wringer at airport security
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, flying, passenger, passengers, security, security check, tsa, transport security administration, department of homeland security, officer, officers, screening, security screening, screenings, security screenings, invasive, intrusive, detector, detectors, scanner, scanners, mangle, twist, squish, squash, protection, prevention, regulation, regulations, wringer, wringers, machine, machines, metal detector, metal detectors, safety
'...and I'm a TSA agent.'
"You're our oldest and dearest friends, but we figured why take chances?"
'I'm sorry but something's wrong with this computer's smell checker.'
Security Check: Please enter the two words below, separated by a space, to prove that you are human.
'I'll need four character references.'
"This day and age it's necessary."
"He dropped out when he realized it was bomb sniffing, not burn sniffing school."
'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'
'So much for transparency!'
'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'
"Wait, I just want to kill this fly."