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'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'
'And in the event one of you doesn't show up for the ceremony, I can always Photoshop you in later.'
'The groom called to say he'll have to marry you next weekend instead. He totally forgot he had tickets to the basketball game this weekend.'
'Jim called to say he apologizes to you and the 300 guests, but he'll have to marry you next week instead. He totally forgot he made plans to go to a boat show this weekend.'
'Don't blame yourself. Maybe it's genetic. No one from her side of the family has shown up.'
'I haven't said I do yet. How quick can you get down here?'
'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'
'See, I told you it wouldn't last!'
'It's no use coming that Chinese laundry business with me, Charlie Plunkett!'
'I'll have a double.'
'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'
Didn't You See My Update?
'There's one thing I would change if it was our wedding over again-I wouldn't turn up!'
"Oh dear! Well, will anoyone else take this woman to be their lawful wedded wife?"
'A contact magazine-any contact magazine and hurry!'