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'I'll be honest, this car is way overpriced, gets horrible mileage, and smells exactly like steamed broccoli. . . it does have dual climate control though!'
'What makes you think I'd buy this? Do I look environmentally challenged?'
"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."
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car, car salesman, car salesmen, road trip, road trips, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, holidaying, used car, used cars, argument, arguments, fall out, falling out, dysfunctional families, kid, kids, back seat, backseat, row, row, rowing, bicker, bickers, bickering, are we there yet, special features, bonus features, add-on, add-ons, specification, specifications, car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles"We're paying you to dance and be fun, not to drink a mope."
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drunk, drunks, drinker, drinkers, heavy drinker, heavy drinkers, employee, employees, bad employee, bad employees, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, disappointment, disappointments, deflating, deflation, tube man, tube men, greeting, greetings, greeter, greeters, car salesman, car salesmen, skydancer, skydancers, air dancer, air dancers"This model comes with a standard anti-theft alarm that can be upgraded to an ultra-obnoxious version, if you wish."
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car, cars, car salesman, car salesmen, used car, used cars, pre-owned car, pre-owned cars, sales, salesman, salesmen, upgrade, upsell, upselling, upgrading, car alarm, car alarms, obnoxious, annoying, loud, anti-theft, business, businesses"It doesn't matter what you like - according to the demographics, this is the car for you."
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car, statistics, statistician, statisticians, cars, car salesmen, car salesman, car sale, car sales, auto dealership, auto dealerships, car dealership, car dealerships, demographic, demographics, shopping, shopper profile, shopper profiles, personal taste, preference, preferences, consumer data"Naturally, there's a trade-off for its exceptional fuel economy."
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consumerism, shopping, autos, auto dealer, auto dealers, car dealer, car dealers, car dealership, auto dealership, auto dealerships, cat dealerships, trade off, trade offs, trade-off, trade-offs, car salesmen, car salesman, auto salesmen, auto salesman, auto sales, car sales, fuel economy, small car, small cars, sales pitch, sales pitches, dealers, depletion"You're not going to find anything in your price range that isn't full of bees."
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car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, transportation, car salesman, car salesmen, used car, used cars, used car salesman, used car salesmen, selling, dealership, dealerships, second-hand, price range, cost, costs, price, prices, bee, bee, bumblebee, bumblebees, beater, beaters, buying a car, problem, problems"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."
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suv, suvs, oversize, oversized, oversize vehicle, oversized vehicles, offroad, off-road, van, vans, minivan, minivans, car, cars, car salesman, car salesmen, car buyer, car buyers, suburb, suburbs, suburban, trend, trends, trendy, unnecessary, dealer, dealers, car dealer, car dealers, auto dealer, auto dealers, waste, wasteful, fuel efficiency, inefficient, gas, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, pollute, pollutes, polluting, pollution"Every new car comes with your own backyard drilling rights."
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car salesman, car salesmen, salesman, salesmen, car sales, car price, car prices, bonus feature, bonus features, added feature, added features, fuel economy, gas mileage, mileage, fuel efficiency, fuel, fuels, fuelling, drill, drills, drilling, petrol, engine, engines, internal combustion engine, fuel price, fuel prices, offset, offsets, offsetting"And, as you drive, it will also use all the negative energy from your arguments."
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relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, couple, couples, argue, arguing, argument, arguments, fight, fights, fighting, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, marriage, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, buying a car, buying a vehicle, new car, clean, hybrid, clean energy, green, environment, environmentally friendly, eco, eco-friendly, green energy, renewable energy, alternative fuel, alternative fuels, negative energy, car salesmen, car salesman, car lot, car lots, dealer, dealers, dealership, dealerships"And for an extra fourteen hundred dollars I'll stop touching your arm."
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car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, car lot, car lots, dealership, dealerships, care salesman, car salesmen, used car salesmen, used car salesman, used car, used cars, touch, touching, physical contact, space bubble, space invasion, invade, invasion, invasive, personal space, creepy, touchy, touchy-feely, extra, price, prices, negotiate, negotiating, deal, deals, sale, sales, sell, buy, buyer, buyers, customer, customers, money'Okay, sir...what's it gonna take for me to get you into this car today?' 'A forklift.'
"Imagine yourself: driving up the coast, the top down, tears streaming down your face because your wife had no choice but to kick you out, this time for good."
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sports car, sport car, sport cars, sports car, car, cars, car salesmen, car salesman, car sales, sales pitch, sales pitches, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, wife, wives, husband, husbands, divorce, divorces, divorce proceedings, separation, separations, fiscally irresponsible, fiscal irresponsible"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."
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vanity, vain, conspicuous consumption, dream car, dream cars, car, cars, car salesman, car salesmen, used car, used cars, used car salesman, used car salesmen, buyer, buyers, buying, salesperson, salespeople, unnecessary purchase, unnecessary purchases, purchase, purchases, chauffeur, chauffeurs, dealership, dealerships, sales pitch, sales pitches, extra, extras, addition, additions, surcharge, surcharges'You sold the Mercedes-Benz to the guy who fixed our copier? For cash?'