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"Your father loves me very much, in his own way, and I love your father very much, in my own way, and that's why we're getting a divorce."
Tags:divorce, divorces, divorce proceedings, divorcee, divorcees, marriage breakdown, marriage breakdowns, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, kid, kids, family breakdown, family breakdowns, separation, separations, child, custody battle, custody battles, marital spat, marital spats, couples counselling, couples counseling, relationship counselling, relationship counseling
"We got custody of the Cat."
Tags:divorce, divorced, divorcing, custody, custody battle, custody battles, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, dog, dogs, pup, pups, puppy, puppies, cat, cats, kitten, kittens, kitty, kitties, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, cat owner, cat owners
Long custody battle.
"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."
"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."
"Et tu, Baxter?"
'. . . And I'm taking the lab rats with me!'
'It's for when my Dad gets supervised access.'
'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'
'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'
''Honor thy father and thy mother'? -- What about custody disputes?'
"Okay, these are the documents we need to sue your ex for child support, and if we can convince the court it's not too out off line, to have the words, 'lying, cheating b*****d' tattooed on his forehead."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, divorce attorney, divorce attorneys, child support, child-support, child-supports, child supports, divorce, divorces, divorcing, marital problem, marital problems, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, family court, custody battle, custody battles, messy, bad, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, revenge, vengeance, vengeful, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-wives
'Now comes the hard part. . . who gets which facebook friends. . .'
A man and woman fight over their baby.
'I used to enjoy being a stay-at-home dad. Then I was awarded custody of the kids.'
Man arrives at Feral Court, formerly divorce court.
Tags:feral, divorce proceedings, divorce proceeding, divorce, divorces, divorcing, divorced, marriage breakdown, marriage breakdowns, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, custody battle, custody battles, divorce court, family court, family breakdown, feralness, bitterness
Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'
"Sorry, I must let you go, your Mom won you in the takeover bid."
"Deidre, I'm suing you for joint custody of our closet."
Tags:lawsuit, lawsuits, joint custody, custody, custody battle, custody battles, divorce court, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, divorce court, family court, sue, suing, sued, closet, closets, wardrobe, wardrobes, wife, wives, husband, husbands, marital breakdown, marriage breakdown, marital breakdowns, marriage breakdowns
"Who'd you prefer to live with son?"
"Oh come on, already! One of you has to take custody of the children!"
Tags:divorce, divorces, custody battle, custody battles, family court, family-court, mother, mothers, father, fathers, dad, dads, mum, mums, mom, moms, parent, parents, child custody, divorce courts, custody of the children, judge, divorce court, marriage carve-up, family breakdown, family breakdowns
"Your wife gets the kids. . . and you get custody of the mortgage."
'Her lawyer suggested that I get custody of the gold bars on the weekends and she gets custody of them during the week, until the divorce is finalized.'
'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'
'Before you decide where you'd like to live, look who's setting up shop in my living room.'