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"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."
'This is the museum's vault of 'Mislaid Masterpieces' which we 'come across quite by chance' from time to time.'
After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.
'Scariest thing about these old portraits..it feels like the eyes are following you around the room!'
The Sly Doge
"One of the great impressionists."