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A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.
"Yes, it is an interesting coffee table, isn't it? My husband made it from an old telly we never use."
Detector van in a bottle.
'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'
'Stop worrying.The T V detector van will never track us in a remote place like this'.
"Can I see your license Sir?"