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"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"
Tags:cop, cops, police, police officer, noir, crime thriller, crime fiction, criminal, criminals, on the run, detective, detectives, killer, killers, murderer, murderers, horror, old school, old school horror, film, films, movie, movies, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death
"My loyal opposition wasn't loyal enough."
"And now let's welcome, for the first and last time . . ."
Tags:execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, modern life, capital punishment, guest, guests, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, commodify, commodifies, commodification, death penalty, state murder, state murders, state-sanctioned murder, anti-death penalty, late night talk show, late night talk shows, dark humor, dark humour
An executioner practices beheading with his son on a tee-ball.
Tags:tee-ball, father-son bond, father-son bonds, bond, bonds, bonding time, bonding times, executioner, executioners, execute, executes, executing, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, family business, family businesses, tee ball, tee, tees, tee off, tees off, teeing off, practice, practices, practicing, baseball bat, baseball bats, bat, bats, batting, batter, batters, swing, swings, swinging, axe, axes, blade, blades, executioner's blade
He replied all.
Tags:reply all, reply all button, accident, accidents, accidental, email, email chain, email chains, e-mail, e-mail chain, faux pas, office worker, office workers, office drone, office drones, corporate culture, work email, work emails, corporation, corporations, burn at the stake, burns at the stake, execute, executes, executing, heretic, heretics, pariah, pariahs, outcast, outcasts, social outcast, social outcasts, burn the witch, nuisance, nuisances, overreaction, overreactions, overreact, overreacting, annoying, mistake, mistakes, common mistake, common mistakes
"OK, now—this time for real!"
Tags:false start, false starts, miss, misses, missing, firing squad, firing squads, death penalty, capital punishment, death row, execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, frighten, frightens, frightening, scare, scares, scaring, scare to death, scares to death, scaring to death, target, targets, targeting, targeted
'great news Your Majesty! The Kennel Club is thinking of naming a spaniel after you!!'
"I'm just the anesthesiologist."
Tags:anaesthesiologist, anaesthesiologists, anesthesiologist, anesthesiologists, anaesthesia, anaesthetics, knock out, knocking out, knocked out, anaesthetise, anaesthetised, anesthetise, anaesthetised, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, guillotine, guillotines, death penalty, medieval death penalty, death penalties
"Jeez, did we ever goof!"
Tags:execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, martyr, martyrs, religious martyr, religious martyrs, capital punishment, death penalty, blunder, blunders, prophet, prophets, divine, divinity, bless, blesses, blessing, blessings, angel, angels, afterlife, afterlives, judgement day, judgment day, mistake, mistakes, goof, goofs, pious, piety, believer, believers, god's will, sins, sinning, saint, saints, martyred, blame, blames, blaming, god's wrath
A matador executes a bull in an electric chair
"Something collarless. I'm being guillotined."
Tags:shopping, shop, store, stores, fashion, fashionable, sales, salesclerk, salesman, salesperson, men, men's clothing, clothing, clothes, style, styles, trend, trendy, trending, execute, execution, death, death sentence, sentenced to death, guillotine, guillotined, dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor
'I'm sorry, could you step a little closer to me? I can't quite hear what you're saying...'
'Well, so much for Plan 'A'.'
"And if we start televising the executions we can also market a hilarious bloopers tape."
Tags:marketing, marketing, brand, brands, branding, public relations, idea, ideas, profit, profits, amoral, immoral, shock, shocking, consumerism, mass media, media coverage, internet culture, sale, sales, dignity, capitalism, money making, salesmen, salesman, gross, board, boardroom, meeting, meetings, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death, cop, cops, officer, officers, police officer, police officers, capital punishment, death penalty
"Level with me, Colonel. What kind of worst-case scenario are we talking about here?"
Tags:colonel, colonels, worst-case scenario, worse case scenario, worst-case scenarios, worse case scenarios, execution, executions, death sentence, death sentences, firing squad, firing squads, execute, executes, court martial, capital punishment, capital punishments, court martials, soldier, soldiers
'My son has a science fair coming up and he was wondering if you wouldn't mind putting some unpopped popcorn in your mouth.'
'Your sales have been so bad lately, firing you wasn't good enough.'
"Your four-o'clock is here."
Tags:business, businesses, meeting, meetings, death, deaths, execution, executioner, executions, executioners, executive, executives, pun, office, offices, meet, fire, fired, firing, barbaric, corporate culture, corporate cultures, cutthroat, businessmen, businessperson, businessman, murder, killing, execute, executes
"Your 5 A.M. is here."
Tags:appointment, appointments, execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminals, criminality, wake, wakes, wake up, wakes up, waking up, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, office assistant, office assistants, office assistance, death row, death rows, inmate, inmates
"The Governor has granted a stay of execution until your Benetton ad comes out."
Tags:clothing, clothes, fashion, fashions, fashionable, fashionista, fashionistas, style, styles, stylish, in style, death row, death row inmate, death row inmates, inmate, inmates, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, in jail, execute, execution, executions, crimes, criminal, criminals, controversial, ad, ads, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, marketing, lawyer, lawyers, unethical, ethics, stay of execution, sentenced to death, sentenced to die, death penalty, we on death row
"Yes, we cater to a rather specialized clientele."
Tags:headsman, antique, antiques, executioner, executioners, execute, executes, executing, kill, kills, killing, killings, tortures, torturers, special interest, special interests, clientele, clienteles, cater, caters, catering, antique shop, antique shops, antiquing, antique store, antique stores, specialty, specialties, speciality, specialities
'You're right, there wasn't much blood getting to his head.'
"If your guys aren't going to show, let's just call it a day."
Tags:firing, firing squad, gun, guns, death, deaths, dead, dying, died, kill, killed, firing line, execute, execution, executions, war, wars, military, militarise, militarism, militaristic, militia, militias, executioner, executioners, wall, capital, capital punishment, martial law, martial, violence, violence, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan
"Thanksgiving shmanksgiving - we both know this is because I slept with your wife."
Tags:thanksgiving, turkey, turkeys, turkey dinner, turkey dinners, revenge, vengeance, other man, other men, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, adulterer, adulterers, execute, executes, executing, execution, executions, fight back, fights back, fighting back, christmas, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, excuse, excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses
'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'