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"Nothing's wrong - it's a managerial technique I learned from my mother."
"Stop that right now, I know they're not real tears?"
"For me, tears alone don't work: I have to throw a tantrum as well to get some attention..."
"I'm so sorry Lucy, I wasn't trying to be insensitive: I have trouble recognizing real tears...'
'Thanks for the coaching, the tears did the trick: My parents bought me a mobile phone!'
'Well Jameson, I strongly advised against wiping it's 'cute' eyes.'
"My dad's tears? Oh, they're real alright: he's cutting onions..."