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A woman angrily masks her husband's eyes at the beach
"I'm home, with all my DNA."
Tags:home, home late, husband, husbands, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, wife, wives, girlfriends, cat dragged in, dna, crime scene, crime scenes, cheat, cheater, cheaters, two timing, two timer, two timers, jealous wife, jealous wives, unfaithful husband, unfaithful husbands, criminal, criminals, forensics, forensic investigation
'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'
Tags:party, dinner party, diner parties, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, flirt, flirts, flirtation, flirtations, cocktails, house party, celebration, instructions, behavior, husband, wife, dynamics, rules, relationships, relationship, jealousy, envy, unhealthy, trust, distrust, mistrust, suspicious, short leash, short lead, distrusting, whipped, under the thumb, under lock and key, wearing the trousers, subservient, obedient, jealous wife, jealous wives
"The 3 wise men couldn't make it. One got scammed in a gold investment scheme. One got sick from using a fake frankincense cure. And the the third one's wife wouldn't let him make the trip when she found out he bought myrrh perfume that wasn't for her."
Tags:mary, joseph, three wise men, three kings, magi, nativity, nativity story, christmas story, xmas story, festive period, birth of christ, birth of jesus, gold, frankincense, myrrh, gift, gifts, festive season, jealous wife, jealous wives, frankincense cure, frankincense cures, gold investment, gold investments
"What are these Neanderthal hairs doing on your club?"
'I found a homing device in my wedding ring.'
"There's no other woman! That's whale you smell!"
"Exactly why is your password 'Godiva'?"
"Are you the bar's manager? My husband thinks that he might have left his eyes in one of your waitresses' neckline."
'Get your hands off my husband.'
"She's his new secretary....his wife!"
White Wine Wisdom (6)
"This had better be one hell of a story, buster!"
''Practising your rugby front row tactics'? Don't give me that...'
'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'
'Look you'll wear them here and this discussion is over!'
'Just don't lose sight of who is really the center of the universe.'
'What do you mean you nearly didn't recognise her that way up?'
'Oh, well... a jealous wife, a tie, starch... that's a deadly mixture!'
'Can I take the bucket off Daddy's head now the pretty ladies have gone, Mum?'
'I know how you feel about Lady Godiva, but she's the best fund-raiser I've ever had.'
'No, I'm not being tracked by scientists, just by my wife...'
'My wife would like to borrow some sugar.'
'I could look like that too, if I didn't have to spend all my time correcting your faults.'