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"I don't think equal opportunities legislation covers beauty pageants."
"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"
Dreams of being a beauty queen
The Nobel Prize Contest
"....Welcome back to Miss World, and now we move on to the 'best chav' category."
'In the talent category, Miss District of Columbia will shred paper.'