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'According to the government this is still a playing field.'
'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'
The family tradition lives on: I won the Long Jump and the Triple Jump events...
'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'
'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'
"The won't let him play conkers at school in case he hurts himself. Why do they let him play rugby?"