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"My favourite part of being a stay-at-home mom is when they're at school."
'Ah! Flavoured dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxydropesane and asparteme, it really takes me back to my schooldays.'
"Do you realize that they pay our teacher to come to school every day and we do it for free?"
'These are the happiest years of my life, eh? -- you obviously haven't met my algebra teacher!'
'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'
"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."
Bullies reunited: "No, I didn't have very happy schooldays."
'I know school prepares you for life, Dad, but there must be a better way!'
'Edward Lear's schooldays.'
"This homework is in your father's handwriting!"
"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"
"If these are the happiest days of my life, I haven't got much to look forward to..."
"Boy, will I be glad when the weekend gets here!"