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(I can't ever forgive my parents.) (I, on the other hand, am profoundly grateful to them.)
'We must be great parents...our children all hate us.'
"I envy you - I wish I were close enough to my family to be estranged."
"Okay, now you know. I come from a broken home."
Poker Game Called Off Due To Family Emergency.
'How can you tell?'
'I got a job.'
'You can protest all you want. But only until bedtime. And not in front of the television. And no, I am not stepping down.'
'You're texting? Wait--'
'Dude's been played.'
'That's why we have to stick together!'
'No way he can stay alone.'
'Did you feel that??'
'Good vacations come with bathrooms.'
'His dad was!'
'The work of a master.'
'But they get attached to me!'
'What choice do we have?'
'Yeah, you were creative.'