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'To be honest, it's a bit hard to swallow.'
"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."
"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."
"On the other hand, it's not the end of the world."
Leonard Sippowitz, neighbour of the beast.
Vicar pulls public-toilet hand towel which reads 'The end is nigh'