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'We're not here to mourn, but to celebrate, because frankly, no-one is sorry to see him go...'
They were sad when they found out their Grandfather had died in an earthquake.
'I wish I had learned more trivia.'
'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'
'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'
"I don't really know how to tell you this, sweetheart, so I'm just going to come right out and say it: Your goldfish ran away."
"Does this make us bad parents?"
Tags:parent, parenting, parents, parenthood, bad parent, bad parents, bad parenting, parenting fails, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, dad, dads, father, fathers, bad dad, bad dads, bad mom, bad moms, bad mum, bad mums, bury the body, burying a body, hide the body, hiding the body, shallow grave, shallow graves, dead, died, death, dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humour, killed, kill, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, manslaughter
"That's where the celebrities are."
Tags:celebrity, celebrities, levels of hell, levels of heaven, hierarchy, hierarchies, inequality, cant take it with you, can't take it with you, privilege, privileges, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died
"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"
Tags:cop, cops, police, police officer, noir, crime thriller, crime fiction, criminal, criminals, on the run, detective, detectives, killer, killers, murderer, murderers, horror, old school, old school horror, film, films, movie, movies, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death
Self-Help Books For The Newly Dead
'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.
"Please - no more specialists."
Grim Reaper goes grocery shopping
God rolls dice
Tags:roll of the dice, rolling dice, roll dice, die, god, gods, man in the sky, giant hand, giant hands, random, randomness, chance, death, died, dying, die, luck, lucky, unlucky, no luck, gamble, gambling, gambling with lives, covid-19, corona, coronavirus, corona virus pandemic, pandemics, epidemic, epidemics, disease, diseases, flu, flus, illness, sickness, virus, viruses
"It's courtesy of the gentleman seated at the other end of the bar, ma'am."
"Mumford! I thought you were killed instantly."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, employer, employers, employee, employees, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, fire, fired, lay off, lay offs, laid off, let go, redundant, redundancy, made redundant, outsourcing, outsourced, kill, killed, killing, dead, die, died, dead, death
"At this time the family is grieving and suing."
Tags:grieving, grief, sad, saddened, saddening, sue, suing, lawsuit, lawsuits, family, families, death, deaths, died, dies, bereavement, bereavements, loss, losing, legal action, legal, law, laws, announce, announcement, press release, charge, prosecute, trial, bring to trial, honest, honesty, realistic, compensation, damages
'Anyway, to make a long story short, the medical examiner who performed your autopsy was fired.'
"It's a great country–just don't get sick."
Tags:slang, cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, horseback, horses, horse, pony, pony express, ye olde, modern, modern life, modernity, yehaw, cowboy hat, hat, 10 gallon hat, ten gallon hat, saloon, saloons, sheriff, sheriffs, deputy, deputies, medical, medicare, healthcare, health care, united states, america, american, pill, pills, prescription, skeleton, skeletons, death, dead, die, died
"If I have to ask permission for every bite, dearest, we'll be mating all day."
Tags:relationship, relationships, consent, consenting consents, feminism, feminists, feminist, #metoo, metoo, me too, mantis, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantises, mate, mates, consensual, permission, reproduction, insect, insects, animal, animals, decapitate, relationship, relationships, death, dying, died
"I thought it was only a metaphor when people said, 'My car died.' "
'Ah... ok... I think I've found the source of the production slump.'
"Wings that don't work! Harps that don't play! Are you sure this isn't Hell?"