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As England's injury problems worsen, Roy Hodgson resorts to Englebert Humperdinck
'The England players couldn't stop scoring when they were practising penalties. . .But that might have been because they were practising with a goalkeeper who couldn't save them.'
"We're offering a free rubber bust of Roy Hodgson you can throw at the telly if it goes to penalties.'
'I feel as sick as an England manager.'