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'The trouble with crisis meetings is they always come at a bad time.'
'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'
"So, how can we explain this dip in productivity which seems to happen every Wednesday?"
"That's a relief - I thought you said crisis meeting..."
'Our product flooded the market...before backing up in a deluge of consumer complaints!'
"I'm beginning to feel that between idle speculation and useless hindsight, we're getting this situation under control!"
'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'
"Have you got anything that'll clean s**t off a fan?"
'Gentlemen, in front of you is a striped top, a black stocking and a 'swag bag'.'
'It doesn't look good. Some of our nationals are at war with some of our other nationals.'