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'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'
a Lump of coal
Tags:christmas, christmas movie, christmas movies, christmas time, christmas stocking, christmas stockings, stocking, stockings, christmas present, christmas presents, feel good movie, feel good movies, feel-good movie, feel-good movies, christmas movie, christmas movies, depressing, miserable, lump of coal, lumps of coal, naughty list, the naughty list, cinema, cinemas, movie theater, movie theaters, movie theatre, movie theatres, stocking filler, stocking fillers
"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."
Tags:woman, women, shopping, shopper, shoppers, shopping addict, shopping addicts, addicted to shopping, shopping addiction, shopping bags, money, spending, cost, costs, million, millions, rich, wealthy, wealth, fashion, style, trend, trends, trendy, fad, fads, in-style, fashionable, fashionista, fashionista, stylish, clothes, clothing, womenswear, women's fashion, women's clothing, women's clothes, tights, leggings, hosiery, stockings, expensive
"Is it any wonder you got coal in your stocking?"
Pirate peg leg Christmas stocking.
"Good heavens! - I must have fallen asleep and forgotten to hang up my stocking."
Tags:christmas, xmas, christmases, xmases, christmas eve, xmas eve, festive period, festive season, stocking, stockings, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, st nick, st nicholas, present, presents, gift, gifts, christmas tradition, xmas tradition, xmas traditions, christmas traditions
'I'm perfect for the job... I've got huge ears; tons of candy for stockings, and, in a pinch, I can deliver to everywhere in the world in one night.'
'Sis, you would have gotten a lot more candy, too, if you'd used these sketchy rubber socks I found in Dad's dresser.'
'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'
'Dear Santa, this year I'd like to have some arms because...'
'It's that time of year again, so I'm going through the motions of being good for goodness sake. What are you doing?'
'I can't even remember how I knew who'd been naughty or nice before I discovered hacking.'
'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'
Child Support Hose
Tags:play on words, play on word, nagging spouse, nagging wife, nagging wives, ex-wife, ex-wives, divorce, divorced, divorces, divorcee, single parent, single parenthood, single parenting, hosiery, panty hose, undergarments, undergarment, stockings, stocking, ex-husband, sad, sad sack, neglectful, neglect, neglecting, child support, alimony, child maintenance
"See? Told you I was on his Nice list. . . Santa left me Clean Coal!"
Tags:coal, coals, nice list, nice lists, naughty list, naughty lists, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, st nick, st nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, festive period, stocking, stockings, melania trump, christmas myth, christmas myths, xmas myth, xmas myths, environment policy, environmental policy, environmental policies
Man on desert island hangs Christmas stocking on palm tree
'Excuse me, your stockings are wrinkled.'
"Stockings and guns are allowed, but you can only claim a portion of your car. How often was it used to get away?"
"Ok, Santa comes in and goes for the cookies, while I sneak up and join the reindeer! Foolproof!"
'She really had her heart set on a Pocahontas outfit.'
Bank robber wearing tights wonders why the cashiers are laughing at him.
A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.
Tags:stocking stuffer, stocking stuffers, stocking, stockings, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, unoriginal, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, strangle, strangles, strangling, strangler, stranglers, drive insane, driven insane, cliche, cliches, tie, ties, necktie, neckties, filler, christmas, father, fathers, dad, dads, husband, husbands
"When I said I didn't want anything I obviously meant that I wanted a set of Wi-Fi, bluetooth headphones."
One huge Christmas stocking!