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"Heads we go with the analytics. Tails we don't."
Tags:coin flip, coin toss, game of chance, coin, coins, heads, tails, heads or tails, office, offices, work place, work, work places, lazy, unenthusiastic, unmotivated, bored, not bothered, unbothered, inconsistent, procedure, protocol, analytics, analysis, procedures, protocols, random, random chance
Man is dumber because of his smartwatch.
"Well, we're waiting. See any patterns emerging?"
Tags:data analysis, data, analysis, analytics, businessmen, businessman, boardroom, boardrooms, board, boards, exec, execs, executive, executives, pattern, patterns, emerging pattern, emerging patterns, data analyst, data analysts, business meeting, business meetings, quarterly report, quarterly reports, profit, profits, graph, graphs, chart, charts, performance, review, reviews, sales report, sales reports, profit report, profit reports
"For you new prisoners here, the warden will only let us use bar graphs on all of our prison data projects."
'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'
Tags:data, analytics, data mining, big data, big-data, analytics education, analytics learning, data education, school, students, pupils, education, clustering algorithms, sequential patterns, computers, technology, tech, generational differences, data walls, youth, parents, parenting, k-12 education, generation gap, generation gaps
'Our human superiors like having us H.R. robots around so we can take all of their abuse at employee meetings.'
'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'
Tags:sales meetings, quarterly reports, sales, reports, business meetings, jokes, pranks, supply company, supply companies, b2b, business to business, visual aids, visual props, corporate earnings, business presentation, funny business, data, big data, big-data, business intelligence, bi, analytics, profits, quarterly profits, earnings reports
"As you can see here, there were a few downticks, followed by a few upticks, finishing off with some antics."
Tags:business meetings, chart, graph, sales report, sales reports, charts, graphs, sales, sales presentations, sales data, sales numbers, sales figures, quarterly earnings, earnings reports, business reports, downturns, upturns, business cycles, business data, business intelligence, line graphs, meetings room, war room, corporate earnings, corporations, analytics, big data, big-data, surprises, anomaly, anomalies
'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'
Tags:data, analytics, software, healthcare, hospitals, hospitalization, medical bills, predictive, prediction, accuracy, accurate, treatment, diagnosis, diagnostic tool, medical billing, hospital bills, bills, fines, cost transparency, big data, big-data, medical data, patient data, patient care, doctor, doctors, physicians, computers, tech, technology, cloud, cloud data
'....My digital assistant reminded me to stock up on beer and nachos.'
Tags:data, digital assistants, artificial intelligence, ai, cloud data, cloud computing, access, online assistant, sas, software as a service, cloud tech, technology, computers, smartphones, secretary, secretaries, big-data, big data, analytics, predictive analytics, prediction software, efficiency, planning, software, game day, big game, remote batteries, sports, basketball, baseball, football, soccer, pastimes, leisure, food, snacks, leisure time, time off, gadget, gadgets
'I went through the data and found an 11.7% increase in the discretionary spending portion of our family budget, so I see no reason not to raise my allowance.'
Tags:discretionary spending, increased spending, disposable income, data, analytics, data analysis, big-data, big data, data science, data scientists, computers, technology, tech, kids, technologically aware, statistical analysis, finances, data source, data sources, undermining, undermine, whizz kid, whizz-kid, genius, parents, family, families, children, allowance, money, cash, work, pocket-money, pocket money
'Our latest business analysis best practices came from the Twitosphere, via the blogoshphere, just south of the webosphere.'
"Apparently our smart house decided it didn't need us anymore."
"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"
Tags:data, big data, big-data, analytics, data mining, data mine, data mines, data lake, data lakes, data reservoir, data science, data scientists, data modeling, data visualization, business intelligence, bi, b.i., computers, tech, health, healthcare, hospitals, patient, patients, lung infections, respiratory infections, technology careers, fathers, sons, family, career advice, fatherly advice, job hazard, job hazards, miners lung, miner's lung, pneumoconiosis, black lung
"Every time I click 'accept' for these online user agreements, a piece of my soul dies."
"We tried crowdsourcing the data, but the crowd turned into an angry mob and threw bogus data at us."
Tags:data, big data, big-data, data analytics, business data, business intelligence, business meeting, meeting room, war room, conference room, conference table, corporate, customer data, customer analytics, bi, crowdsource, crowdsources, crowd-sourcing, crowd-source, crowd-sources, crowdsourcing, crowds, angry mob, angry mobs, bogus data, bad data, dark data, analytics, team, data science, data scientists
'Okay, here's an abandoned storage locker with some random data that may or may not be useful. We'll start the bidding at $50...'
"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."
Man and woman speaking in different data chart languages.
Tags:data analysis, data analyst, data analysts, data chart, data charts, data graph, data graphs, business analysis, business analyst, business analysts, businessmen, businessman, businesswomen, businesswoman, business jargon, data jargon, analytics, communication, communications, graph, graphs, chart, charts
"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."
Negative bar is taped onto bar graph in business meeting.
"Don't worry- your patients' electronic records will be safe across your network. I'm using an encryption based on doctor handwriting legibility."
Tags:doctor, doctors, md, medical office, doctor's office, tech, tech support, networks, network security, computers, encryption, encruptions, medical records, digital records, emr, emr/ehr software, software, cloud, cloud technology, data, analytics, handwriting, legibility, handwritten, doctor stereotype, doctor stereotypes, internet security, computer security
"Our data team is using the cloud to find a solution to our city's smog."
Tags:cloud, data, cloud network, cloud networks, data storage, data cloud, cloud storage, cloud technology, data networks, information technology, big data, big-data, analytics, data analytics, business intelligence, bi, data teams, city, city life, smog, pollution, city pollution, green, green tech, green initiatives, problem solving, problem solver, problem solvers
"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"
Tags:tax, taxes, tax return, tax returns, tax time, taxes, tax preparation, income tax, filing taxes, tax season, tax software, computers, data, data analytics, analytics, big data, business analytics, office work, office workers, purchasing, purchasing department, purchasing dept, visual data, visual analytics, accounting, accountant, accountants, bookkeeping, bookkeeper
'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'