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'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'
Man with lizard t-shirt comes across a lizard with a man t-shirt.
"Tell us again about Bogie and Hepburn coming up the river."
"Darling, I've come crawling back to you, just the way you always said I would."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, reptile, reptiles, snake, snakes, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, ex, exes, former, previous, crawling back, returning, expression, expressions, wordplay, word play
"I think the return of the pterodactyls is a little ominous!"
Tags:pterodactyl, pterodactyls, dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinction, extinctions, extinction of the dinosaurs, ominous, warning, warnings, warning sign, warning signs, understatement, understatements, pterosaurs, the apocalypse, apocalypse, reptile, reptiles, flying reptile, flying reptiles, end of the earth, end of the world, warning sign, warning signs
A man walking his dog with a leash passes a man walking his snake holding it by its tail.
"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."
Tags:turtle, turtles, lizard, lizards, salamander, salamanders, reptile, reptiles, homeowner, homeowners, value, values, lose value, losing value, bad investment, bad investments, investment, investments, crash, crashes, crashing, market crash, market crashes, home, homes, house, houses, real estate, real estate investment, real estate investments
"It wasn't so much losing the race, it was losing the shoe contract."
Tags:godzillas, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, mothering, mothered, motherhood, hassle, hassles, nag, nags, nagging, nagged, nagger, naggers, care, cares, caring, cared, carer, carers, son, sons, offspring, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, monster, monsters, dinosaurs, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, animal, animals, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, gila monster, gila monsters, language, languages, pronunciation, english, unhelpful, wasting time, biting, bite, emergency, emergencies
"God, you're hot-blooded!"
'That should do it. We'll see you in six months for your next cleaning.'
Tags:crocodile, crocodiles, alligator, alligators, teeth, tooth, bird, birds, clean, cleans, cleaning, cleaned, cleaner, cleaners, dentist, dentists, dental, dentistry, brush, brushes, brushing, brushed, nurse, reptile, reptiles, reptilian, reptilians, hygiene, hygienic, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Let's use another form of birth control. I don't like the coil.'
Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.
'I'm getting an energy credit for installing the solar panels.'
One out of 10,000 snakes are born with a 'spork' tongue.
"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."
Tags:animal, animals, tortoise, old married couple, old married couples, old-married-couple, old-married-couples, giant tortoise, tortoises, giant tortoises, turtle, turtles, reptile, reptiles, old, old age, ageing, aging, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, lifespan, wife, wives, husband, husbands, long life, long-life, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps
"To be fair, Martha, you started it."
"How appropriate is that—she's a hundred and twenty years his junior."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, tortoise, tortoises, turtle, turtles, galapagos tortoise, galapagos tortoises, reptile, reptiles, relationship, relationships, age gap, age gaps, young, old, younger, older, appropriate, inappropriate, silver fox, silver foxes, questionable, questionable relationship, questionable relationships, dating, older man, younger woman
'There's that hissing again.'
Tags:monster, monsters, mythical creature, mythical creatures, sea monster, sea monsters, snake, snakes, hissing, serpent, serpents, reptile, reptiles, kid, kids, phobia, phobias, paddling pool, paddling pools, swimming pool, swimming pools, childish fear, childish fears, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Buy one get one glued to the side of your face
"Eddie has made a wonderful husband and father for someone people thought was just a lounge lizard."
Cycles of evolution and destruction
Tags:evolution, evolve, evolving, evolved, theory of evolution, amoeba, fish, reptile, reptiles, dinosaur, dinosaurs, dino, dinos, mass extinction, mass extinction event, extinction of the dinosaurs, mammal, mammals, human evolution, human, humans, humanity, war, wars, destruction, destroy, world war, world wars, bomb, bombs, nuclear apocalypse, cylce, cycles, life cycle, life cycles
'I'm playing St. Patrick in the school play. I need a miter and ten thousand snakes by Friday.'
'Oh Harry, look at that cute couple! How come we don't do anything romantic like that anymore?'