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Will dick around on the internet all day for food.
"I'm always worried about what my son is downloading from the internet, and what my daughter is uploading to it."
'That reminds me, we need more bandwidth.'
"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"
'I hate it when she assigns an essay at the end of the month, after I've reached my data limit.'
'What do you mean they are monitoring Internet use?'
"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."