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"Weltschmerz? Is that like the flu?"
A gravestone with an epitaph that reads "It's just a cold".
"You're clinically boring."
"Don't worry about it. It's probably just a head cold."
"That was never my diagnosis. That was my misdiagnosis."
"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."
"Your test results were quite encouraging, however the results give you slightly less than three months to live."
"There's nothing wrong with your back, you old fool, you've got your tie stuck in your zipper again!"
"Considering the obvious lies in your information form and my tendency to misdiagnose, we should get along just fine."
'Oh, well. We did the best we could. Time of death...'
"Take some aspirins and if it gets any worse, come back and see me."
"By the way, Doctor - would the shots you just gave Princess make any difference if she were pregnant?"
Gross misdiagnosis and medical malpractice.
"You don't have shingles...just a bad case of refrigerator magnets."