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Data Processing Center.
'That's Grandpa's main data processing system.'
'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'
'This problem has been my life's work. I planned to devote my remainig years to it. It's just been solved in four seconds.'
The NSA organizes its new sprawling data farm based on the different types of web traffic...
Tags:nsa, national security administration, national security agency, surveillance, government agency, government agencies, spying, privacy, data security, internet traffic, data farms, data processing, big data, big-data, information technology, it, web traffic, spam, social media, surveillance state, government intrusion
'Sometimes I just feel like processing some data, but I have no data to process - other times I have the data, but I have nothing to process it with.'
'Now don't panic. Not everything was erased. We still have loads of data on rainfall, upholstery and jaywalking.'
"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."
Tags:dogs, pets, pet, dog, dog owner, dog owners, luddite, luddites, technological advances, technical advances, dog bones, burying bones, bury bones, hiding bones, the cloud, computer cloud, data storage, cloud storage, cloud computing, cloud computers, data management, data processing, information tech, information technology, network computers, network computing, data network, telecommunications, old fashioned, old-fashioned
Databank - 'If you did it, we know about it.'
'The databank is slightly mistaken. I'm not an alcoholic. I never attempted to assassinate the govenor. I havne't been married 17 times. I don't owe $66,000 in gambling debts...'
"While I appreciate your offer to whack our bad data, I think a good scrub will be sufficient."
Tags:data, data analytics, data processing, information technology, informatics, business intelligence, data scrub, data scrubbing, dirty data, dark data, clean data, big data, big-data, machine learning, computers, computer learning, mafia, mafioso, hitman, hitmen, thugs, organized crime, gangsters, gangster, mobster, mobsters
'Computers cannot do logic. I can do logic. Therefore, I am not a computer.'
'This is not going to look too good on your record: complaining about invasion of privacy.'
'This used to take hours.'
'If to err is human, how do you explain this mess?'
Data Processing and Data Suppression
"Oh, you press the button down..."
Tags:scientist, scientists, computer, computers, computer scientist, computer scientists, data processor, data processors, data processing, old computer, old computers, data reading, data readings, data analysis, rhyme, rhymes, song, songs, boredom, boring job, boring jobs, killing time, passing time
'What I appreciate even more than its remarkable speed and accuracy are the words of understanding and compassion I get from it.'
'According to our home computer, we should buy some furniture.'
'It's know as the KT26, but you can call it Mom, since it knows more about you than your mother does.'
'Sorry, I'm late, but the databank had me confused with another Arvin K Wheatley and I was questioned by the authorities about smuggling arms into Afghanistan.'
'It seems that their databank has all the information that's in our databank, plus information that's not in our databank, plus information about our databank.'
'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'
"Do you know what I could use? Someone to do filing, data processing...to free me up to do strategic work."