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'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'
"I'm well aware that being dead and buried has weakened my position in the corporation."
Tags:dead, status, status update, status updates, coffin, coffins, funeral, funerals, corporation, corporations, corporate mentality, corporate mentalities, weakened position, weakened positions, demotion, demote, demotes, demoted, demotions, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, executive, executives, dark humor, dark humour
"I hate 'Bottom feeder'. I much prefer 'opportunist'."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, fish, underwater, bottom, bottom feeder, bottom feeders, bottomfeeder, bottomfeeders, consistent, stable, unchangeable, social climber, social climber, career ladder, corporate ladder, opportunist, opportunists, opportunism, wording, wordplay, word play
'I appreciate the grovelling Whitworth, but don't lick my shoes - it ruins the leather!'
"I'm looking to hire someone who can be acquiescent without making me uncomfortably aware of it."
Tags:underling, underlings, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, acquiesce, acquiescing, subservient, subservience, attitude, attitudes, boss, bosses, manager, managers, corporate culture, power trip, power trips, new hire, new hires, ideal employee, ideal employees, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, honest, honesty, self-aware, self-awareness
"It's more relevant than some of the other theme parks we've been to."
Tags:theme park, theme parks, amusement park, amusement parks, fairground, fairgrounds, fair, fairs, golden parachute, corporate ladder, businessmen, businessman, sat, s.a.t., college, colleges, graduate school, success story, ambition, ambitions, corporate culture, ambitious, goal, goals, career, careers
While You Were Out
Tags:corporate culture, corporate environment, corporate environments, knife, back stabbing, back stabbings, backstabbing, backstabbed, office politics, corporate politics, businessmen, businessman, cutthroat, cut-throat, working environment, working environments, work environment, work environments, corporate ladder, business ladder
Climbing to the top.
"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."
Tags:approval, request, requests, office, hierarchy, hierarchies, corporation, corporations, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, bureaucracy, bureaucracies, faceless bureaucracy, faceless bureaucracies, office drone, office drones, office worker, office workers, process, processes, approval process, approval processes, pend, pends, pending, wait, waits, waiting, regulation, regulations, rule, rules, health and safety
'We reorganized so many times we are now one of our own subsidiaries.'
"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."
Tags:midlife, midlife crisis, midlife crises, peter principle, ceiling, ceilings, competent, competence, incompetent, incompetence, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, corporate culture, corporation, corporations, megacorporation, megacorporations, white collar job, white collar jobs, office drone, office drones
"Still, I think we can all take some pride in being one of the signature bankruptcies of our time."
Tags:bankrupt, bankruptcy, bankruptcies, ceo, ceos, c.e.o., c.e.o.s, go bankrupt, goes bankrupt, going bankrupt, company, companies, corporation, corporations, corporate, corporate control, corporate controller, chief executive, chief executives, incompetent, incompetence, qualification, qualifications, achievement, achievements, achieving, pride, proud, job well done, jobs well done, take pride, takes pride, taking pride, executive, executives, higher up, higher ups, stockholder meeting, stockholder meetings, stockholder, stockholders, too big to fail, bank, banks, banking, banker, bankers, big bank, big banks, corporate hierarchy, corporate ladder
'You call that an organization chart, Foley? It looks just like the NCAA college basketball brackets.'
"While not a native American Indian my self I do find the term 'low man on the Totem pole' to be an offensive stereotype."
Tags:american indian, american indians, native american, native americans, indian, indians, white knight, white knights, sjw, sjws, social justice warrior, social justice warriors, appropriate, appropriating, appropriation, appropriations, totem pole, expression, expressions, cultural appropriation, social justice, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping, oversensitive, hypersensitive, take offense, takes offense, offensive, offence, politically correct, political correctness, pc culture, pc, corporate ladder
"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."
Tags:men, problems, office, hierarchy, ignore, ignores, ignoring, ignored, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, corporate hierarchy, corporate culture, underling, underlings, office drone, office drones, corporate drone, corporate drones, ceo, ceos, executive, executives, office executive, office executives, mankoff
"Hank, when you're finished firing this gentleman I have some rather unfortunate news for you as well."
Tags:fire, fires, firing, layoff, layoffs, mass layoff, mass layoffs, mass firing, mass firing, job, jobs, job loss, job losses, corporate culture, corporate ladder, corporation, corporations, megacorporation, megacorporations, bad news, breaking bad news, messenger, messengers, shoot the messenger, shooting the messenger, upper management
'It appears that you're just not a team player...'
Caution: Big Ego Area
"We only hire temps, and you have a look of permanence about you."
Tags:temp, temps, temp worker, temp workers, office temp, office temps, permanent, permanence, permanent job, permanent jobs, worker, workers, workplace, workplaces, corporation, corporations, corporate culture, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, big corporation, big corporations, uncaring, hire, hires, hiring
"There are two ways we can go here - bark or bite."
Tags:promotion, promotions, promoted, corporate ladder, corporate hierarchy, corporate hierarchies, mentor, mentors, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, bark, barks, bite, bites, desk job, desk jobs, appraisal, appraisals, canine, canines, disciplinary proceeding, disciplinary action, bark is worse than his bite, disciplinary actions, disciplinary proceedings
Tags:corporate ladder, the corporate ladder, career, careers, career progression, corporate ladders, climbing the ladder, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, class divide, class divides, social climbing, its not what you know, impossible task, impossible tasks, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, ladder, ladders, rung, rungs, ambition, ambitious, aspiring, aspiration, aspirations, privilege, privileged, privileges
"Everybody gets a raise."
Tags:conference, conferences, meeting, meetings, board meeting, board meetings, kiss up, kisses up, kissing up, c.e.o., ceo, executive, executives, yes man, yes men, agree, agrees, agreeing, agreement, suck up, sucks up, raise, raises, board meeting, board meetings, conference room, boss, bosses, manager, managers, animal, animals, dog, dogs, superior, superiors, corporate culture, corporate ladder
"Oh, I love the perks and the power, but, on the other hand, it is an internship."
Tags:execs, interns, power, perks, business, office, authority, phone conversation, internship, desk, desks, interning, unpaid, unpaid intern, unpaid interns, perk, power, powerful, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, powerless, powerlessness, corporate ladder, ladder climber, ladder climbers, mankoff
"Good news, Connors. I'm elevating you to crony."
A Thinking Man's Guide to the Tuxedo T-Shirt
Tags:tuxedo, tuxedos, tuxedo shirt, tuxedo shirt, t-shirt, t-shirts, tuxedo t-shirt, tuxedo t-shirts, tacky, tackiness, fashion faux pas, faux pas, fashion don't, outfit, outfits, unprofessional, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, instructions, guide, guides, fashionista, fashionistas, ironic, hipster, hipsters, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, classy, classless