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'Oh, the corner office is great. The sunlight's great for my plants.'
"He started as a cleaning robot, but then moved up to become our top stock-picking bot."
'You're never going to have a big career. You've got no backbone!'
"Are you taking this leadership quality issue seriously?"
'I understand the school has a policy of promoting from within, so I'd like to be considered for your job when you retire.'
'I'm not asking for a raise or a promotion. I just want my life to have more meaning than anyone else in my department.'
"Wow! You got a promotion? That's so inspirational! What's your secret, Baldo?"
"No...I've made my decision...I'm laying off Joey and Hernando. You, Beatriz and Kiyoshi will have have to pick up the slack. And by the way...you're my new assistant manager."
"Baldo, I don't understand! I thought you'd be happy if I promoted Joey!"
"Uh...Joey...uh...Mr. Rod promoted me to assistant manager...and he wants me to lay you off."
"Hey! I just found out!! Now that I'm assistant manager, I get two weeks of paid vacation!"
'Congratulations, Watkins You've been promoted to 3-toed sloth'
'Oh, boy, an apple! You definitely get a big promotion now. Not!'
"Instead of being kicked upstairs, I was elevator shafted!"
"Of course I don't want you to retire, boss! I'd probably get your job!"
"We won't be kicking you upstairs after all, Luttermoser."