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'It's not that Ted was a bad guy, he was just all out of 5's.'
"My God, J.B., what do I tell the staff?"
"This is Gerald - he puts on the rubber bands."
Health and Safety
'Tonight's guest is Sid Granger, who s going to talk about a recent trip Down Under...'
Tags:heckler, hecklers, professional heckler, professional hecklers, australia, australian rugby team, australian rugby, rugby player, rugby players, rugby team, rugby trams, broken bone, job hazard, job hazards, tourist, tourists, guest speaker, guest speakers, society, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."
'Good this time turn the other way and cough.'
'Dean, for you, the stress management seminar is not, I repeat, not optional.'
'First, I had a frog in my throat. Then I had butterflies in my stomach - and now, a cat has got my tongue, I quit.'
'How long did you work as an arbitrator?'
Fearing insurance rate increases if he had another accident claim, Dave tries a new harness system.
"You're holding it wrong!"
'I'm altering my position frequently to avoid back strain.'
So it's agreed then, we should move health and safety to the top of our agenda."
"I think you must have missed a page!"
Tags:health and safety, health & safety, h&s, safety officer, safety officers, safety inspector, safety inspectors, safety manual, safety manuals, safety instruction, safety instructions, work-related injury, work-related injuries, work related injury, work related injuries, work hazard, work hazards, job hazard, job hazards
"Now THAT's what I call a papercut!"
"It'll happen to you too, if you're here long enough."
'I wonder if Michael Angelo got a stiff neck when he painted the ceiling!'
Artist Disappears When A Moose Shows Up
"Didn't you read the Health and Safety guidelines. They're all here!"
'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have much on the job experience?'
"I see you do all your own stunts."
Tags:stuntmen, stuntman, stunt, stunts, stunt performer, stunt performers, stunt act, stunt acts, broken bone, broken bones, injury, injuries, cast, casts, bandage, bandages, hollywood, hospital bed, hospital beds, career, careers, dangerous job, dangerous jobs, job hazard, job hazards, work related, work-related, injury, injuries
"It's an occupational hazard. You have laughing gas."