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'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'
"There was no large metal object in your rib cage after all. Turns out I was just seeing this old-timey doctor thing on my forehead."
'Everything came back negative.'
'I've been under a lot of pressure, lately, doc.'
'Good news...the rattling is not in your lungs.'
'I'm going to refer you to a podiatrist, Achilles.'
'In my professional opinion, your immune system is over-stimulated.'
'The access didn't meet our standards...you should find an alternative practice in Botherington, 20 miles down the A465'
"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"
Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.
'I couldn't diagnose this ailment on the internet, so I was forced to come to you.'
Rodney was sometimes a little too eager to please.
'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'
'How do I know the 5 out of 6 doctors who recommend that drug aren't stockholders in the drug company?'
'The patient will see you now,Doctor!'
'To cut down on malpractice suits, my colleague, Dr. Hand, will do all the talking...'
'Smoke two joints, and call me in the morning.'
'Your case would make a great medical journal article, but frankly, the national enquirer pays more.'
'The doctor will see you shortly. Try not to disappoint him.'
'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'
'So you're saying, I'm done for, Doc.' 'I don't like that kind of talk... It's, 'I'm done for, DOCTOR.''
'I'm sorry, Dr. Hecht is not accepting any new patients, because he's in too high a tax bracket already.'
'Now that's a strange reflex, Burl.'
'What do you mean there's no wait to see the doctor? I brought a picnic lunch and lots to read!'