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'And finally, sir, would you like your burger flipped by a Ph.D. in Philosophy, History or English Literature?'
'You'll be on a leash for the first six months.'
'I will now announce the names of the graduates, in the order of the starting salaries offered to them.'
Graduate Job Openings
Congratulations, Graduate! You're going to be working for peanuts...but with that diploma you'll be getting a whole lot more of them!
"Aha! A rare sighting of the employed graduate."
"Six years of university followed by 14 years of postgraduate studies. You here for a job, or a seniors discount card?"