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"Here's to even lower expectations in the New Year."
'I start the morning with a warm 'Hello!' then downgrade through the day to a nod until I finally lose eye contact altogether.'
Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations
"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."
'The name is Clyde, you idiot!'
'Jim, come on! 'How's it going' is just a superficial greeting. I don't really want to know!'
'Oh, I gave up greeting people years ago. I was only interrupting their music.'
'This is Jim, Jill, Larry and Barry from Accounts Receivable, Leavable, Believable and Retrievable.'
'High-fives and knuckle bumps are fine, but we draw the line at the hokey-pokey.'
Two men lifting their hats to each other, one has an Accordion under his hat