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"God is out to get me."
Tags:job, book of job, therapist, therapists, therapy, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, bible character, biblical character, torah character, test, tests, test of faith, paranoia, paranoid, paranoias
"Just for the record, I knew you were naked before I ate the apple."
'That's probably not a good sign.'
"This is Joshua. Joshua fit the battle of Jericho."
Tags:jericho, bible story, bible stories, bible character, bible characters, biblical character, biblical characters, torah story, torah stories, torah character, torah characters, joshua, mythical figure, mythical figures, battle of jericho, jericho, introduction, introductions, conquest of canaan, book of joshua, jehoshua, hoshea
"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."
Tags:david, goliath, investment advisor, investment adviser, investment advisers, investment advisors, investor, investors, investment, investments, money advice, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, bible, bibles, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, old testament, war, wars, conflict, conflicts
"I preferred the Old Testament God."
Tags:old testament, god, gods, deity, deities, divine being, divine beings, lightening strike, lightening strikes, lightning strike, lightning strikes, golfer, golfers, golf course, golf courses, golf player, golf players, new testament, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, divine anger, divine intervention, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories
Crime Scene in the Garden of Eden
Tags:garden of eden, crime scene, crime scenes, paradise, crime-scene, crime-scenes, genesis, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, torah, torahs, old testament, bible, bibles, tree of knowledge, apple, the fall, adam, eve, book of genesis, serpent, serpents, temptation, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, eden
"And God called the light day."
"Frankly, I think we'll regret introducing these organisms into the environment."
Tags:organism, organisms, environment, environmental impact, environmentalist, environmentalists, angel, angels, adam, eve, bible, bibles, torah, torah story, bible story, bible stories, torah stories, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, the fall, mankind, humankind, genesis, mistake, mistakes, mankind, error, errors
Moses' Reading Glasses
God working clay on a potters wheel creating a vase with a person's arms and legs sticking out.
Pesach crime scene.
Jacob's first attempt at deceiving Isaac.
David loses focus for just a moment: 'Wow a petoskey stone.'
Arresting Adam and Eve
Tags:adam, eve, garden of eden, genesis, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, snake, snakes, serpent, serpents, temptation, temptations, tempting, tempted, beat cop, beat cops, the fall, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, arrest, arrests, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, policemen, policeman, cop, cops, christian, christians, christianity, judaism, jew, jews
'Take this and use it to make really dumb jokes.'
"Hi, my name is Noah! Is your ark for sale?"
"It's a vanity project."
Tags:angel, angels, vanity project, vanity projects, vain, creator, creators, creation, creation myth, creation myths, god, gods, divine being, divine beings, deity, deities, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotism, big headed, big-headed, big head, big-heads
"This is a nice place, Adam! WE should give it a name."
"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"
'This is great! I had no idea it was a dinner cruise.'
'When this is over with, I'm going to need a LOT of aromatherapy!'
'Who knocked down the walls of Jericho.'
"Well, Noah - I warned you about allowing the woodworm onboard!"
Tags:noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, great flood, biblical flood, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, woodworm, woodworms, ark, religious, 40 days and 40 nights, downpour, biblical, bible, infestation, infestations, pest, pests, 2by2, animals, sanctuary, boat, snake, survivors, drowned, sinking boat, storm, tempest, lifeboat, lifeboats
Now, the serpent was the craftiest of all the animals in the garden.