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God uses the universe as a reading light.
Tags:god, almighty, creator, creators, divine, divinity, read, reads, reading, reader, readers, reading light, reading lights, late night, late nights, night owl, night owls, light, lights, let there be light, creation, genesis, divine creator, divine creators, divinity, theology, bookworm, bookworms, book worm, book worms, book group, book groups
"Or,if you prefer, I also have lox and bagels."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, genesis, book of genesis, adam, eve, first humans, creation story, creation myth, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, snake, snakes, serpent, serpents, food, bagel, bagels, lox, salmon, jewish cuisine, jewish, jewish delicacies, choice, choices, tempting, original sin
Garden of Eden Cocktail Bar
Tags:garden of eden, the garden of eden, original sin, genesis, the book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, biblical, the bible, biblical, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, temptations, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, addictive, addiction, addictions, addictive behaviour, addictive behaviours, snake, snakes, lucifer, the devil, devil, devils
"Just for the record, I knew you were naked before I ate the apple."
'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'
"And this time--no ark!"
Tags:guilt, guilts, guilting, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, nag, nags, nagging, passive aggressive, passive aggression, passive aggressiveness, parent, parents, parenting, frustration, frustrations, frustrating, put on a sweater, nice young man, approval, approve, approves, approving, torah, genesis, bible, bible story, bible stories, shpasik, jtoons
Noah's Arc Gift Shop
Tags:gift shop, gift shops, souvenir, souvenirs, souvenir shop, souvenir shops, gift bag, gift bags, museum, museums, noahs arc, noah's arc, genesis, the great flood, book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, christianity, judaism, visitor information centre, visitor information centres, modern life, modern attitudes, consumerism, capitalism, profiteering
"I, of course, meant seven business days."
Tags:god, gods, creation, creationism, creationist, creationists, beginning of the universe, creation of the universe, big bang, the big bang, the big bang theory, seven days, 7 days, genesis, book of genesis, the book of genesis, business days, business week, delivery, deliveries, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, disappointment, disappointments, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes
"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."
"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."
Instead of an olive branch, the dove brings a delivery pizza back to Noah's Ark.
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, genesis, book of genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, boat, boats, animal, animals, bird, birds, dove, doves, pizza, pizza, pizza delivery, pizza deliveries, delivery pizza, delivery pizzas, delivery driver, delivery drivers, deliverymen, deliveryman, driver, drivers, fresh pizza, fresh pizzas, service, customer service, pizza parlour, pizza parlour, pizza parlor, pizza parlors, pizza shop, pizza shops, pizza store, pizza stores, pizzeria, pizzerias, modern life
"It's the mark of Cain, but it's benign."
Tags:cain, mark of cain, curse, cursed, god, jehovah, genesis, book of genesis, bible story, bible stories, tumor, tumors, tumour, tumours, benign, malignant, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosing, doctor, doctors, oncology, oncologist, oncologists, prognosis, prognoses, old testament, torah, garden of eden
God Goes Down Low/Adam Is Too Slow
Tags:michelangelo, the creation of adam, adam, genesis, bible story, bible stories, fresco, frescos, ceiling fresco, sistine chapel, down low, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, creation of man, art history, art historian, art historians, religious icon, religious icons
"Well, now the flood warning's been downgraded to just a light mid-afternoon sprinkle."
Tags:weather warning, weather warnings, weather forecast, weather forecasts, flood warning, flood warnings, meteorologist, meteorologists, weather app, weather apps, noah, bible, bible story, bible stories, great flood, noah's ark, noah's arc, noahs ark, noahs arc, rainshower, rainshowers, rain shower, rain showers, forecast, forecasts, torah, torah story, torah stories, genesis, book of genesis
'That's probably not a good sign.'
And on the seventh day, God obsessed about what he did wrong on the first six days.
Tags:creation, god, seventh day, 7th day, creation story, christian creation story, genesis, worry, worries, worrier, worriers, anxiety, anxiety disorder, anxiety disorders, mental health, bad mental health, anxious, anxiousness, relatable, obsess, obsess over, overthink, overthinking, overthinking it
'Well, the weather was terrible, but the buffet was AMAZING!! They had EVERYTHING!!'
And on the Eighth Day God Just Puttered Around the House
"All you can eat (except the tree of knowledge) buffet.
Then on the Eighth Day
Tags:god, heaven, creation, creationism, creationist, creationists, the creation, genesis, book of genesis, the book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, christianity, christian, christians, judaism, jew, jews, jewish, theism, theist, theists, religions, writers block, writer's block, creative block, artists block, artist's block, creation myth, in the beginning, give up, giving up, given up, run out of ideas, running out of ideas, rest, resting, relax, relaxing, taking a break
'At this time, I'd like to point out some of the safety features and emergency exits that our craft is equipped with...'
"Lose the cap."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, old testament, book of genesis, genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, boat, boats, ship, ships, the great flood, captain, captains, ship captain, ship captains, hat, hats, cap, caps, fashion, captain hat, captain hats, sea captain, sea captains, lose, ditch, get rid of, god, god's voice, fashion critic, fashion critics, critique, critiques, critical, criticism, criticise, criticize
"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, genesis, book of genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, flood, flooding, great flood, dove, doves, animal, animals, returning, parking, parking regulations, suspended, suspension, parking places, parking spots, transportation, vehicle, vehicles, car, cars, automobile, automobiles, water, parking rules, parking restrictions
Tags:adam, eve, religious, religion, tv, television, sports, sport, men, marriage, married life, men, living with men, genesis, book of genesis, bible, the bible, bibles, biblical, eden, garden of eden, couples, couple, wife, husband, tv, television, t v, superbowl, the game, super bowl, play offs, playoffs, play off, play off, fifa, football, football season, premier league