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Anonymous Alcoholics Meetings: All day - all night.
"I've never seen Tom enjoy himself so much at a party, Joan! When did he quit drinking?"
"I'm sorry Dennis but I can't accept your token of affection as I'm a recovering melancholic."
'Bernie calls himself a 'recovering alcoholic' but that just means he has a hangover.'
'Wrong address I'm afraid - I've been on the wagon for 25 years.'