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'When I said that Sales is all about the Art of Persuasion I didn't expect you to start shouting at customers, ‘Buy it or my family will be out on the street!''
"Marketing and sales has decided that we should destroy all civilization."
Tags:office work, office worker, office workers, marketing, marketing department, marketing departments, sales, sales department, sales departments, modern life, end of the world, destroy civilisation, business speak, executive decision, executive decisions, capitalism, business jargon, destroy civilization, executive, executives, business executive, business executives
'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'
'Please send us an optimist to run the sales department, and a pessimist to run the credit department.'
'You're probably all wondering who I've promoted to VP of sales!'
'At least, the customers still remember our company, our products and me...'
"But what's my MOTIVATION?"
"Press 4, oh what the hell, press any number...We're not answering any of them."
"Good news! I heard that the sales department had to requisition a stepladder."
"The first thing we need to do is straighten up this account."
'But what's my motivation? How do I see this developing?'
'This year target was turning 100% of leads into sales, next years target is 105%.'
"Get down to sales and move the goalposts."
"Quick! Get down to legal! The boilerplate has sprung a leak."
Tags:boilerplate, boilerplate message, boilerplate messages, legal, legal department, legal departments, leak, leaks, leaking, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, businessman, businessmen, sales, sales department, sales departments, cliche, cliches, cliched, question, questions, questioning, cold call, cold calls, cold calling, phone sales
Will work for sales leads.
'It's O.K., he's on full commission.'
Sales Dept. is Out to Hunch
'Fortunately, the sales department did not receive this sales projection report.'
When Sales and Marketing Do Not Communicate
"Please employ an optimist to run the sales department, and a pessimist to run the credit department."
'How do you do it? I keep coming up with six.'
"Listen, that pensive look might work in R&D, but it won't cut it here in sales!"
Tags:sales, sales department, sales departments, salesmen, salesman, salespeople, salesperson, working environment, work environment, working environments, pensiveness, stressful, stressfullness, selling, officejob, office jobs, transfer, transfers, r&d, research and development, pensive, thoughtful, stress, frenzy, pressure
'Keep your head down! Marketing and sales are feuding!'
"He wins every year -- the man could sell an annuity to a mayfly."
Tags:sales, salesman, salespeople, saleswoman, salesperson, saleswomen, salesmen, selling, salesmanship, award, awards, awards show, awards party, sales department, sales departments, sales people, sales person, insurance, insurance salesman, insurance salesperson, insurance saleswoman, insurance sales, insurance salesmen, insurance saleswomen, insurance salespeople, annuities, annuity
'I just saw the quarterly sales...and I'm not merry.'