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"We opened our newscast with the question, 'Did a U.F.O. land on Staten Island?' We can now report that did not happen."
Comparing the headlines of three different New York based newspapers.
'I like your enthusiasm, Booker, but I'll let you know when there's muck to be raked.'
Moses returns with the Tabloids.
"You each claim to be the child's mother yet one of you sold your story to the national enquirer."
Magazine Lover's Weekly magazine
"We need a cancer story for page 6, a 'cure' this time, we had two 'causes' last week. If you can link it sex that's a double win!"
"Tonight's News Trauma is brought to you by relaxo, a leading anti-anxiety medication."
"The bin was apparently knocked over at 3am, the police do not feel at this time that there was a terrorist connection."