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"You look sensational!"
Tags:news, newspaper, newspapers, tabloid, tabloids, paper, papers, press, media, journalism, sensational, headline, headlines, new york, new york city, ny, nyc, fashion, style, clothes, clothing, dress, dresses, womensewear, women's fashion, women's clothing, women's clothes, compliment, compliments, complimenting, wordplay, word play
"It's all roadkill, and never a word about the chickens who get to the other side!"
Tags:joke, jokes, why did the chicken cross the road, bad news, media, media coverage, bias, biased, sensational, sensationalist, sensationalism, journalist, journalists, journalism, complain, complains, complaining, complaint, complaints, gripe, gripes, griping, roadkill, cross the road, crossing the road, exaggeration, exaggerate, exaggerates, exaggerating, danger, dangers, caution
'Earn Dollars a Day by Doing Absolutely Nothing!'
Tags:dollar, dollars, earn, earning, money, monies, ad, adverts, advertising, unbelievable, scam, scams, lazy, work, working, deal, deals, job, jobs, businesses, easy, simple, catch, no catch, magazine, magazines, sensational, sensationalize, sensationalise, sensationalizes, senationalises, ridiculous, zine, zines, scamming, scams, false advertising
"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."
"I blame all the violent cave paintings."
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, violence, violent, tv, television, video, vidya, video games, absurd, media, sensational, sensationalism, sensationalist
"History Channel Bingo"
Tags:tv, tv channel, tv channels, channel, channels, tv network, tv networks, television channel, television channels, television network, television networks, cable, history, pop history, history channel, bingo, bingo card, bingo cards, predictable, predictable, pseudodocumentaries, pseudodocumentary, historian, historians, sensationalism, sensational, bad documentaries, bad documentary, dumbed down, dumbing down
"The only way to create a sensation as an essayist these days is to write something mean bout cats."
"I'm shopping my prison video around, but apparently if you don't shiv another inmate or become someone's bitch nobody's interested."
Tags:prison, prisons, prison guard, prison guards, reality tv, reality television, pitch, pitches, pitch meeting, pitch meetings, producer, producers, producing, inmate, inmates, reality show, reality shows, jail, jails, jailing, jailer, jailers, hollywood, hollywood writer, hollywood writers, sensational, sensationalist, jailed, felon, felons, ex-con, ex-convict, ex-convicts, opportunist, opportunists, opportunity, crisis, white collar crime, white collar criminal
"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."
Tags:fruit fly, fruit flies, lifespan, lifespans, news cycle, news cycles, short life, short lives, shorten, shortens, shortening, shortened, bright side, glass half full, silver lining, silver linings, apple, apples, tv news, journalism, journalist, journalists, 24 hour news cycle, 24 hour news cycles, sensational, sensationalism, bad news
"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"
A scandal has to be bad to be good.
'...And now, some bad news even for those of you who have come to EXPECT bad news....'
'Looks like we're out of murder, disease, and scandal, but this just in...there's a chance of rain. It's going to rain!'
Tags:news, new, reporter, reporters, tv, television, televised, televisions, sensational, sensationalism, sensationalist, fox, network, networks, broadcasting, broadcaster, broadcasters, journalism, journalistic, standard, standards, death, destruction, mayhem, journalist, journalists, integrity, hysteria, hysterical, bad, misfortune, disease, scandal, report, reports, story, stories, horror, fear, panic, headline, headlines
'Here's Brad with the news to scare the crap out of you.'
'The conflict has escalated into a nasty war. . . even nuclear?. . . Back with more, after commercials and a station break.'
'Look out world, I'm going viral!'
"I don't like the news. It's like they know what scares me."
"Next! Is your home killing you? Details...after the break!"
"Next on the news...could a Russian satellite crash down on your home, pulverizing everything inside?!"
Tags:baldo, bad news, tv news, sensational, sensationalist, sensationalism, pulverize, pulverizes, pulverising, personalise, personalised, personalize, personalized, crash, crashes, paranoid, paranoia, fear, play on your fears, playing on your fears, anxious, anxiousness, prey, preys, preying, preying on fear, preying on fears
"There are no reports of violence, fear, hatred, disaster, or out-of-control hysteria. As a result, all news programs today have been canceled."
Tags:baldo, local news, local news story, local news stories, bad news, news report, news reports, disaster, disasters, frighten, frightens, frightening, hysteria, hysterics, disaster, disasters, good news story, good news stories, sensational, sensationalist, sensationalism, programming, news program, news programs, news programme, news programmes
Hook them with a crisis.
'Baldo, being on TV requires talent.'
'Hey, anyone here from Lake Erie?'
'It's sensational! Your paintings are selling like you're already dead!'
Cat on phone to newspaper, voice says: 'For the last time ... we're not interested in stories about 'home alone' cats.'