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ATM: Double or Nothing?
'What if I don't spend it all? What's your return policy?'
"Withdrawing or depositing?"
"Would you mind waiting a bit for your withdrawal, sir? -- We're expecting a big bailout any minute now."
'The penalty for early withdrawal? Forfeiting the right to make early withdrawals.'
'It's a new Federal regulation, sir - Before you can withdraw any money, you have to sign a pledge promising not to use it for terrorism.'
"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."