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"At your opening, I see that you had two glasses of wine, eight pieces of cheddar, eight crackers, and seventeen grapes. That, of course, will have to come off the top of your end."
"In case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you for two dollars."
Nickel-and-dimed to death.
"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."