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'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'
"I found grandpa's old cough!"
Snapping a wishbone.
Tags:wishbone, wishbones, wish, wishes, making wishes, making a wish, wish come true, snapping a wishbone, cracking a wishbones, grandparent, grandparents, grandfather, grandfathers, grandad, grandads, grandpop, grandpops, grandson, grandsons, grandchild, getting old, getting older, ageing, old person, old people, elderly person, elderly people, young again, trade places, trading places take advantage, taking advantage, swapping places, role reversal
'I'm afraid your lifestyle has caught up with my body.'
"No, Billy, I don't play the horn anymore. I just like to take it out every once and again so's to give an old friend a great big tallywhack on the head!"
Johnny Appleseed's evil spawn
Tags:johnny appleseed, john chapman, pioneer, pioneers, american pioneer, american pioneers, american history, historical figure, historical figures, garden, gardens, gardening, gardener, gardeners, nature, nature lover, nature lovers, apple tree, apple trees, weeds, crabgrass, dandelions, dandelion, poison ivy, nettle, nettles, planting seeds, plant seeds, grow, grows, growing, evil spawn, children, child, progeny, legacy, legacies, grandchild, kid, kids, grandkid, grandkids
"Gosh, Grandma, what big drinks you pour."
Tags:child, children, kid, kids, grandchild, grandma, grandmas, grannies, grandmothers, grandparent, grandparents, nan, nana, nanny, nans, nanas, little red riding hood, brothers grimm, fairytale, fairtytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, book, books, story, stories, literature, drinking, drink, drinks, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, booze, liquor, mental health, alcohol abuse, drinking problem, alcohol dependence, pour, pouring
"Tell us again about Monet, Grandpa."
Tags:art, artist, artists, painter, painters, painting, paintings, frog, frogs, bullfrog, bullfrogs, lily pad, lily pads, impressionism, modern art, realism, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, grandparent, grandparents, grandchild, grandkids, grandkid, grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers
"The truth is, Kevin, a long time ago your grandfather hit a triple and thats how we got to third base."
Tags:triple, hit a triple, third base, bases, baseball, grandfather, grandfathers, grandpa, grandpas, grandson, grandsons, granddaughter, granddaughters, grandchild, grand kid, grand kids, father, fathers, dad, dads, fatherhood, fathering, son, sons, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, family, families, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, daughter, daughters
"Grandmother was telling me that when she was young, a girl got out and walked on such occasions, but then they always did everything the hard way."
"Our family. We ran out of room years ago."
Tags:family photo, family photos, family photograph, family photographs, family life, big family, big families, family picture, family pictures, wall space, wall spaces, grandkid, grandkids, grandchild, granddad, granddads, grandfather, grandfathers, proud parents, proud parent, proud, pride, family men, family man
"All the other kids have grandchildren, Karl."
Waiting For Godot
Tags:beckett, samuel beckett, playwright, playwrights, play, plays, bribe, bribes, bribery, hangman, hangmen, kill time, kills time, killing time, impatient, impatience, twenty questions, road trip, road trips, grandchild, grandson, grandsons, granddaughter, granddaughters, grandmothers, grandparent, grandparents, wait, waits, waiting, long wait, long waits
'I hope my grandma doesn't find out the world doesn't revolve around me.'
"I see the new dentures are still making you spit a little, Gramma."
"There I go again, telling stories that make you an accessory after the fact."
"Grammy was Shabby when Shabby wasn't chic."
'So Grandma's arrived then.'
"Mother, please! I can spoil my own child."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, grandmothers, grandmom, grandmoms, nana, nanas, grandma, grandmas, grandparent, grandparents, spoil, spoiling, spoiled, present, presents, gift, gifts, spoiled rotten, excessive, toy, toys, grandchild, grandkid, grandkids
"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"
Tags:little red riding hood, big bad wolf, wolf, wolves, grandmothers, grandchild, fairytale, fairytales, stolen identity, identity theft, disguise, disguised, stolen identities, retina scan, retina scans, retinal scan, retinal scans, security, identification, biometric, biometrics, biometric identification
'Grandmas just ain't what they used to be.'
"Oh, don't be such a pill, Father - say 'hello' to the child."
"Well, sir, there was A.T. & T. at 264, Steel dropping by the minute and Wall Street going mad! - You're sure I'm not boring you?"
Tags:bedtime story, bedtime stories, bed-time story, bed-time stories, bore, bores, boredom, children's story, children's stories, grandpa, grandpas, granddad, granddads, grandfather, grandfathers, grandkid, grandkids, grandchild, dad, dads, family life, family-life, businessmen, businessman, workaholic, workaholics, work addict, work addicts, work addiction, work addictions
'I understand you're the person to see for pre-K funding.'
"Write this down …'Gold' … write this down also, … 'Diamonds'. Now read that back to me."