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"YOU'RE being tortured?! An hour ago my dress was a size 2."
"Forget waterboarding, son. How would you like 24 hours of in-flight safety instructions in Welsh?"
'Of course they hate cubicles. They're my favorite 20th century invention, next to water boarding.'
"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"
"Talk, dammit, or it's 24 hours of children's TV!"