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"There's been an accident, but it doesn't involve me."
This lane for calling and texting while driving only.
"As I was saying. . ."
"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."
"How do you know my brake lights weren't working - you destroyed the evidence."
"Did you hear about the latest plane crash?"
'I nearly crashed last night swerving for a tree. Turns out it was my air freshener swinging about.'
Treacle leaking from a crashed tanker
The whole world goes green. Resulting in thousands and thousands of traffic accidents at intersections everywhere.
'No, I don't need aluminum siding, but put me on with the windshield - selling guy!'
'It was my fault.'
"From now on, don't let anyone twist your arm to drive at break-neck speed so you can get on stage and break a leg."