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"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, sobriety test, sobriety tests, field sobriety test, field sobriety tests, drinking, drinking and driving, drunk driving, drunk, drunks, dangerous driving, ballet, ballerina, ballerinas, dance, dances, dancer, dancers, arabesque, arabesques, pirouette, pirouettes, test, tests, testing, alcohol, traffic stop, traffic stops, pulled over, impaired driving, impaired driver, impaired drivers, driving impaired, driving under the influence, dui, duis, high
"Pull over and let me drive - you're too drunk to hit anyone."
Tags:drunk, drunks, drunk driving, drunk driver, drunk drivers, hit, hits, hitting, bumpercar, bumpercars, bumper car, bumper cars, carnival, carnivals, carnival ride, carnival rides, amusement park, amusement parks, amusement park ride, amusement park rides, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, sober, skill, skills, game of skill, games of skill, take the wheel, takes the wheel, taking the wheel, irresponsible, irresponsibility
"Make it one for my baby and one more for the road. And while you're at it I'll have one, too."
'Now walk in a straight line... nah I'm just messing with you.'
"Your pilot is still de-icing."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, pilot, pilots, captain, captains, de-icing, deicing, weather, bad weather, snowstorm, snowstorms, snow, snowing, ice, de-ice, deice, cold, winter, wintertime, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, liquor, booze, drunk, drunks, drunk driving, drunk driver, drunk drivers, dangerous driving, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers, dangerous, risky, delay, delays, delayed
'That was a pretty straight line but this is Canada. Try it wearing these.'
"It's the stress of freshman year, sir."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, traffic stop, traffic stops, pulled over, pull over, ticket, tickets, fine, fines, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, driver, drivers, driving, drinking and driving, drunk, drunk driving, driving drunk, drink driving, don't drink and drive, dangerous, risky, party, parties, partying, college, university, student, students, freshman, freshmen, fresher, freshers, new student, new students, first year, first years, first year student, first year students, freshman year, rowdy, out of control, out-of-control, stress, excuse, excuses
"It's O.K., I've got his car keys."
Tags:drunk driver, drunk drivers, drunk driving, car keys, bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, pub, pubs, barkeeper, barkeepers, responsible, safety, designated driver, designated drivers, dog, dogs, drunk, drunken, barfly, barflies, concerned citizen, concerned citizens, worry, worries, worrier, canine, canines, companion, companions
"No more, thanks - I'm flying."
Tags:helicopter, helicopters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilots, pilot, pilots, flight, flights, drunk, drunks, drunk driver, drunk drivers, drunk driving, overindulge, drink driver, drink drivers, overindulged, overindulges, overindulging, flying license, flying licenses, flying licence, flying licences
'You are drunk. Thanks goodness, I thought my steering had gone.'
"How's my drinking?" bumper sticker
Tags:truck, trucks, pickup, pickups, pickup truck, pickup trucks, vehicle, vehicles, driver, drivers, driving, dog, dogs, bumper sticker, bumper stickers, sticker, stickers, decal, decals, how's my drinking, how's my driving, call, drinking, drink, drinks, alcohol, alcoholic, drinking and driving, drunk, drunk driver, drunk drivers, driving drunk, drunk driving, drink driving, driving under the influence, don't drink and drive, safety, word play, wordplay, transportation
"Sir, have you been drinking, not drinking, drinking, not drinking, drinking?"
"He passed the sobriety test. Now I think he's just showing off."
"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, waitress, waitresses, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, drive-thru, drive-through, drivethru, drive thrus, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driver, drivers, driving, transportation, takeaway, takeout, to-go, to go, pick up, fast food, hamburger, hamburgers, burger, burgers, fries, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, martini, martinis, drinking and driving, drunk driving, drink driving
The mind of the drunk driver
Early Man Falls Asleep At The Wheel
Tags:primitive, cave men, prehistoric, inventions, the wheel, discoveries, accident, driving, death, early man, asleep, cave man, homo erectus, hominids, wheel, discovery, driving, dangerous driving, sleep, asleep, early man, caveman, injured, injury, hurt, crash, car crash, casualty, disaster, collision, drunk driving, driver, bad driver, bad driving, dangerous driver
'Oh! You've passed the breathalyzer test.' 'I KNEW IT! that pub's watering down its whisky!'
Teen drunk drivers.
'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'
"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."
Tags:sobriety test, sobriety tests, pulled over, drunk, drunk driver, drunk driving, drunk drivers, santa, santa claus, st nick, st. nick, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nicholas, st. nicholas, father chirstmas, christmas, sleigh, sleighs, reindeer, police, policemen, policeman, cop, cops, state trooper, state troopers
Not A Creature Was Steering.
"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, drinking, drunk driving, car wreck, car wrecks, accident, accidents, drink driving, dui, duis, dwi, dwis, drunk driver, drunk drivers, clean underwear, car accident, car accidents, mom's advice, mother's advice, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, designated driver, designated drivers, drunk driving
'The Breathalyzer indicates you need to use a mouthwash.'
Okay, it was wrong asking you to hold my beer while I got my driver's license from the glove box.