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"My tax refunds are great! I write off the mileage, report all of the presents as charitable donations and use undocumented elves for labor."
"This is great! It's shaping up like it could be another huge tax writeoff for the boss."
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"What do people write me off as?"
"The public seems concerned about the size of government."
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"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."
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"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."
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'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'
"Ms. Jones, please contact my accountant and have him send out a large charitable donation ASAP."
"Well, technically, for tax reasons, my master has listed me as an employee charged with guarding his tools..."
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"Yes, I know I told you that I scratched the car... You mean, you can't see the scratches?"
'Oh that? It's a write-off...I got it on a layover.'
'My dear, we need to sell the car immediately!'
'My wife decided to sell her car.'
'When are you going to tell me what you did with my car, son?'
'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'
"It was insured for everything except coolness depreciation. Two years old and apparently it's a write-off."
"But Dad, it will take more than a bit of white ribbon to make this into a wedding car..."
'I you hadn't written the car off. . . I could visit you more often.'
'No, I didn't write it off completely. The spare wheel is fine.'
'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'
'We are increasing you're rates.'
'I'm writing everything off for religious reasons since I worship the dollar.'
'What kind of write-off can I claim for large animal equipment left behind on calls?'
'If you were a car, you'd be written off!'