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"I never thought I'd grow up to be the matinee crowd."
"Coughing, or non-coughing?"
Fiddler on the Roof - Performed by Miss Parsons Finishing School
"I shouldn't have gone to freshen up at the interval: The second act was almost over by the time I reached my seat again..."
"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"
"I've done this show six hundred thirty-seven times. Tonight in Act Two I'm going to sing 'The Jet Song' from 'West Side Story'."
"My one man play is now in the west end. I play Lee Harvey Oswald."