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'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'
'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'
"I made a straightforward proposal, Moira, and all I ask is a linear response."
Tags:proposal, proposals, business jargon, jargon, lingo, straightforward, linear, linear response, linear responses, business proposal, business proposals, marriage proposals, businessman, businessmen, antisocial, bottom line, to the point, unromantic, romance, romantic, personality, personalities, type a, personality type, personality types
"Congratulations. We verbed three new words this week."
'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'
"This report to the shareholders….Which is the misinformation and which is the disinformation."
Tags:shareholder, shareholders, shareholder meeting, shareholder meetings, meeting, meetings, share, shares, investor, investors, investment, investments, stockholder, stockholders, disinformation, misinformation, business jargon, financial jargon, corporate jargon, quarterly report, quarterly reports
"Am I a team player? Are you kidding? I was in a cult."
Tags:cult, cults, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, job application, job applications, team player, team players, interview question, interview questions, cliche, cliches, teamwork, team work, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, social deviant, social deviants, business jargon, buzzword, buzzwords
"I was on the cutting edge. I pushed the envelope. I did the heavy lifting. I was the rainmaker. Then I ran out of metaphors."
"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."
"O.K. Will somebody please bring me up to date?"
Tags:boardroom, boardrooms, meeting, meetings, board meeting, board meetings, business meeting, business meetings, office jargon, business jargon, jargon, buzzword, buzzwords, office phrase, office phrases, business phrases, business phrase, out of date, behind the times, colonial, colonial style, colonial styles, american history, colonial america, eighteenth century, eighteenth century, 1700s
"As far as I'm concerned, it just takes my kind."
Tags:business man, business men, business person, business people, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, conceit, conceited, arrogant, arrogance, pretentious, pretension, takes all kinds, business jargon, business talk, business speak, disagree, disagreeing, disagreement, jargon, insulted, offended, take offence, taking offence, comeback, comebacks, come back, come backs, snapback, snapbacks, snap back, snap backs
"I'm as surprised as you are. I had no idea that the sweetheart deal would include an actual sweetheart."
'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'
"Don't disturb Daddy. He's busy visualizing unparalleled success in the business world and, by extension, a better life for us all."
"We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. Now, I suggest we stick with our agreed-upon agenda."
Tags:business meeting, business meetings, board meeting, board meetings, business jargon, buzzword, buzzwords, corporation, corporations, big corporation, big corporations, individualism, individualists, ignore, overlook, overlooked, acknowledgement, modern life, square, squares, corporate world, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, monotony, monotonous, lip service
'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'
"Marketing and sales has decided that we should destroy all civilization."
Tags:office work, office worker, office workers, marketing, marketing department, marketing departments, sales, sales department, sales departments, modern life, end of the world, destroy civilisation, business speak, executive decision, executive decisions, capitalism, business jargon, destroy civilization, executive, executives, business executive, business executives
'Among my many talents, not shown on my resume, is that I can say 'multivarient transformative interactive analytical heterogenacity in management leadership' three times fast.'
"What is a knowledge worker and do we have any on the staff."
Tags:knowledge worker, knowledge workers, handling information, incompetent, incompetence, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, business talk, business speak, business jargon, manager, managers, knowledge, knowledgeable, qualification, qualifications, think, thinking, thinker, thinkers, thinking for a living, managers, boss, bosses, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers
"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."
Tags:business man, business men, businessman, merger, mergers, business deal, business deals, business jargon, contract, contracts, business contract, business contract, fine print, the fine print, small print, the small print, confusing, confusion, business men, business person, business people, businessperson, con, cons, insurer, insurers, insurance company, insurance companies, modern life
"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."
Tags:broker, brokers, financial jargon, business jargon, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advice, comp, comping, comped, business lunch, portfolio, portfolios, business jargon, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock, stocks, investment, investments, investor, investors
'Take this mission statement back and rewrite it. More mumbo and less jumbo.'
'I'm exploring another revenue stream.'
Can you do another draft of this? There's still a couple of sentences people might understand
'Hey partner, you're building your brand with stolen content.'