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'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'
Students with backpacks walk in front of doors marked School Counselor, School Nurse, and School Chiropractor.
'No, no, you're looking for the school counselor. This is Guy Dance.'
'Students who major in these subjects have a 7% less chance of moving back in with their parents after graduation.'
"Of course your parents embarrass you. That's what parents are for."
"The school is worried about Billy! They asked him what gives life meaning and he asked if they could make it a multiple choice question."
counselor: 'How about joining the glee club? They're an awfully lot of fun!'
"Actually, Lisa, there are many jobs available in the retail industry other than shopper."
"I had three 'panic attack' cases today, two first graders and a rookie teacher."