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'Are you keeping pace with spending predictions?'
'See? I told you he was real.'
'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'
'Feed the homeless' - 'I'm a cute puppy'
It was at times like this he realised the value of a more personal insurance service.
"I can't help but feel disappointed."
Tags:disappointed, disappointment, disappointments, father christmas, santa, santa claus, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, st nick, st nicholas, festive period, festive season, disappointment, disappointments, christmas, christmases, xmas, xmases, festive period, christmas eve, xmas eve
"It starts earlier every year."
Tags:christmas, christmas season, holiday season, holiday, holidays, retail, retailer, retailers, commercialism, commercialist, santa, santas, santa claus, father christmas, charity, charities, fundraising, fundraiser, fundraisers, start early, starts early, starting early, raise money, raises money, raising money
Letter to Santa, 'Dear Santa, Some Assembly Required. Timmy'
"The 'Ho ho ho' thing—we get it. By Act II, I'm looking for it to have evolved."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, santa's workshop, ho ho ho, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, acting workshop, acting workshops, evolving, evolved, evolution, improvement, improving, acting coach, acting coaches, casting director, casting directors, training, critique, critiquing, critical, criticising, criticizing, advice, entertainment
"Sorry, kid, but I don't whack parents."
Santa's Little Enablers
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nick, st nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, enabler, enablers, addict, addicts, enabling, addiction, addictions, drink problem, drink problems, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, elf, elves, santa's little helpers, destructive behaviour, destructive behavior
'Well, don't just stand there Tommy! Open it up and see what's inside!'
Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'
Santa's Early Years of Research and Development...
"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"
"And here's where we make toys for bad little boys and girls!"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, workshop, workshops, work shop, work shops, elf, elves, naughty list, naughty lists, naughty or nice, toy, toys, making toys, north pole, bad list, bad lists, lump of coal, lumps of coal, santa claus is coming to town, naughty child, naughty children, torture, tortures, torture device, torture devices, christmas, x-mas, xmas, christmas season, holiday season
"I guess this explains why everybody has had to buy their own Christmas presents since we were kids."
December 26th . . . The Returns
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa claus, santa, elf, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elves, north pole, december, december 26th, december 26, the day after christmas, boxing day, return, returns, returning, exchange, exchanges, unwanted gifts, unwanted presents, gift, gifts, present, presents, shopping, christmas chopping, store, stores, shop, shops, sack, sacks, consumerism, santa's helper, santa's helpers
'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'
"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, holiday, holidays, celebration, celebrations, easter, easter bunny, easter bunnies, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, judgemental, judging, good, bad, subjective, arbitrary, gift, gifts, present, presents
"It's from Santa, and it goes way, way beyond jolly."
Tags:email, emails, obscene, e-mail, e-mails, e-mailing, emailing, santa, santa claus, father christmas, elf, elves, inappropriate, workshop, workshops, sexual harassment, harassment, harass, harasses, metoo, #metoo, unwanted, unasked for, obscene photo, obscene photos, obscene photograph, obscene photographs
"Bring in another!"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, horror, horrific, cannibal, cannibals, cannibalize, cannibalizes, cannibalizing, cannibalise, cannibalises, cannibalising, eat, eats, eating, child, children, kid, kids, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, christmas, christmas season, monster, monsters, monstrous, evil, demonic, demon, demons
"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, son, sons, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, scolding, telling off, punishment, punishments, bad boy, good boy, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, gift, gifts, present, presents, toy, toys, education toy, educational toys, naughty or nice, good or bad, list, lists, modern life
Father Christmas stuck on plane wing