Careers Advisers Cartoons and Comics

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'...do I want to risk putting up with someone like me?'

'I imagine you're interested in one of the more highly visible occupations?'

'...it may be advisable to think of a referee other than your mother.'

"So where do you see yourself fitting into late stage capitalism?"

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"It's hard to strike just the right balance. I didn't have enough fire in the belly for politics, but I seem to have too much for market research."

"Sorry, but I don't see anything useful here, given today's economy."

'I thought of becoming a doctor, but you have to wash your hands all the time . . .'

'The good news is, you'll never have to worry about being overqualified for any job...'

Careers advisor

'Posting a song on the internet and becoming a global singing phenomenon is certainly an option, but you might like to consider focussing on your GCSE's as a back-up!'

"You have no scruples whatsoever, and would hack into people's emails, tax returns...have you considered a career as a political advisor?"

'No education, no skills, no experience, no character references... I'm afraid the only thing left for you is politics.'

'Fred, did you ever ask yourself where are you going to be twenty years from now?'

Secretly, She's Always Hated Young Adam Kassan.

"We realize you do better on your I.Q. tests than you do on anything else, but you just cannot major in I.Q."

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Career options for fleas were limited.

"So you're looking for a well paid, non job - how about trying a government quango?"

"Use your head, follow your heart and go with your gut."

The Circle of Life: "Have you considered becoming a careers advisor?"

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"Circuses are always looking for bearded ladies..."